i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
There's always time for handjobs
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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