No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
