Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
