it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
