I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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