it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
