lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
