I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
