Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
