opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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