I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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