The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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