I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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