I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
