Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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