There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
