I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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