Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
