Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize