Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
