Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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