It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
