oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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