that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
