Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
