there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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