so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Found your dick twin last night
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
