I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
