Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
