his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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