I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
