It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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