I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
