Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
