either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
