guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
