We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
