Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Did you just see the Batmobile???
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
