what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
