I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
