wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
