I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
