the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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