So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
