Need sex. Gaining weight.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
