i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
