You're so nebulous sometimes
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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