i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
