Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
