I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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