Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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