Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
