That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
