im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
