My sheets look like a crime scene.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
