I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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