I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
