I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
