i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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