Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
