In the future we'll all be gay
I just threw up on my dentist
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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