I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
