its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize