is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize