Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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