Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
