Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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