I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
They should really pass out barf bags in church
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
