Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
