He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize