Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
