I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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