I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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