this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
