Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
