Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize